Ministry Leaders: Don't Give Anger a Foothold

Ephesians 4:2 (NLT)
2 Be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other's faults because of your love.


Working with Children takes a LOT of patience, however sometimes so does working with volunteers!
   I have a pretty good team of Kidmin Volunteers. Though it wasn't always that way. It took about 3 years to weed and pick through the volunteers I knew I can trust. I had some volunteers that would be there every Sunday and Wednesday night. I would have volunteers who didn't necessarily work in the kids ministry every week, but I knew I could count on them during special events.
   Then I had the volunteers who said they were in it to win it, but then Sunday service would come around and I would be the only adult in the room. Or I would ask them to come in and help with check-in and I am getting set up for the service and I would walk out in the hallway to see a massive line of children waiting to get checked in! (First off, I've learned to have everything prepared BEFORE Sundays and Wednesdays, but that's a different post.)
   Then I had the volunteers who were not quite sure what to expect with. They might have just made a commitment to live for God, and were now looking for their spot in the church. So they know they loved kids and wanted to be involved in the Children's Ministry. Well I must have been spoiled because I would hold these individuals to a really high standard. A standard that I had for my veteran volunteers, but more than just hold them to the standard I would expect them to know it without me telling them. Boy, was I a kidmin n00b!
   We don't always know what situation or volunteers are in. The verse I listed above says that we need to give allowance for faults. Now I think we should still have our standards, but like everything else, practice makes perfect. Let's remember our first time as a ministry leader! I'm sure there were a couple of things we didn't get the hang of. If at the first mistake we were fired, we would have a bitter taste in our mouths.
   I think when we select our volunteers we need to keep a few things in mind in how we pick, and how we train. I finally learned my lesson about 2 years ago. I asked a youth girl who had been awesome on Sundays to take over a service while I was gone. I knew she had the ability to follow the curriculum and to teach, while the adults in the room handled the discipline side of things.
   Well i get a phone call the next day from our pastor that she showed up 15 minutes late to service, and one of my adult volunteers showed up 45 minutes late!! The one adult in the room were really anxious because they didn't know what was happing that day in the schedule, so they just let the kids play and tried her best to handle 20 kids on her own. I was irate.
   My first thought was to never EVER let her take over for me again, and to tell this other volunteer that showed up 45 minutes late that she might as well not come in that Sunday. Their faults made ME look bad! Then I got to thinking, "You weren't fired, your kids didn't get hurt. Don't focus on what COULD have happened, but learn from this and teach your volunteers for the future."
   So I made a phone call to my youth volunteer to come in and meet with me. I discussed what her actions did for that Sunday and for the kids in the room. Then I told her that I expected a lot more from her since I put her in charge. Then I told her that I want to start seeing her about half an hour early on Sundays that she volunteers.
   What I did here was let her know that she did let me down. I didn't let her actions slide, however I made an allowance for her faults and used them to teach her for the future. Now I didn't put her back in charge for a while, but three months later I gave her a second chance and she nailed it. She was there the night before setting up, and then she was there half an hour early to spend time with kids when they were checking in.
   I had a meeting with the other volunteer, and it pretty much went the same. I won't bore you with the details, but she has been a lot better about it.


Paul continues to write later in Ephesians chapter 4, verse 29, 


"Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them."


It's important that as a minister, you realize that your ministry is not just for the kids, but for everyone around you. Your volunteers look up to you for direction, guidance, and accountability. When I was in college, I was volunteering at a small church about 45 minutes away. I was in a classroom with the teacher giving the lesson, and he was fumbling through a book, so while the kids were making up their own, "fun" i started telling them stories. About halfway through, the teacher looked at me, pointed to the door and yelled out, "You're being a distraction, you need to leave right now!" right in front of the kids! Here's what happened.
1) I was humiliated. I was doing him a favor by keeping the kids attention and focus while he was looking through his book.
2) I was scarred by that and didn't help him out any more.
3) The kids were freaked out a bit by it, and now when they were around me they just felt awkward


Luckily for him, I went to college for Children's Ministry so I was already solid in what I wanted to do, however imagine if it was someone who was new to the faith and was looking for their spot to help out? I can guarantee that it would have taken a LOT of repair work to fix up his confidence.


One more verse. Ephesians 4:27


"for anger gives a mighty foothold to the Devil"


In this case, anger made the leader bitter, anger made the volunteer shaken and allowed for Satan or his forces to come in and start planting seeds of doubt and lies.


So simply put, be careful how you handle volunteers that may or may not be the most faithful. Be gentle in how you handle them, but be stern and hold them accountable at the same note. Remember, an allowance is not an onflowing stream of letting them do what they want, but it's opportunities for them to learn and grow. If they are learning, then great. If not, well then it might not be the ministry position for them.


Anyway. Hope all is well!


-Eric Riskus